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Tips and Advice for Men
The Art of Kissing andbeing Politically Correct around the Opposite Sex

Good Kissers Make Better Lovers

A kiss is the first step to a wild love making session. Screw it up and you may not get lucky at all, become a better kisser and she'll be wet before you get her bra undone.

A good kiss is so much more than just sucking face. It's the experience as a whole, which is affected by location, timing, attraction and execution. Artistic license applies and not all women want the same thing. However, a lot of guys get caught up in the basics so we've listed them here and hope it will help you avoid the pitfalls many men routinely overlook.

Breath - This is most important, there is nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath. Make sure you brush your teeth before going out and don't do a half assed job- brush your tongue too. Use mouthwash and always have breath mints or gum in your pocket.

Be careful what you eat, garlic breath will not go away. If you eat together, only have something with garlic if she does (this is part of the reason why she is supposed to order first). Also be very careful if you have a few drinks- alcohol dries out your mouth which can lead to very bad breath.

Moist Lips - You want your lips to be slightly moist, but not wet. Run your tongue over your lips once before you kiss, and be sure not to overdo it. Slightly moist lips will keep you from getting stuck to her face and make your kiss seem softer. If your lips are dry they will feel like sandpaper, if they are too wet they'll feel cold and slimy, the best is somewhere in the middle.

Positioning - Stand close to her, as close as she'll let you. Personal space is the best indicator of how much a woman likes you and trusts you. Try to get as close as you can so you won't have to lean forward very much. If you can feel the heat radiating from her body you are in good form.

As the two of you move closer together, tilt your head slightly and make sure she's taking the bait. If she tilts her head to one side or remains still you have a green light. If she nods her head down and you butt foreheads - give up. Seriously, it happens to the best of us. Even a very light head butt means she's trying to avoid kissing you, it's never an accident. Tilting the wrong way just means she's not very coordinated, just tilt your head slightly in the opposite direction and lay one on her.

Open Lips - Open your mouth slightly as you place your lips over hers. Breath through your nose. Do not hold you breath. Be gentle, you don't want to slam your lips against hers but you do want to press them together to activate nerves that respond to pressure. The best kissers move their lips in a slow circular motion, but it's still fine just to leave them still. Do not munch.

Close Eyes - Some people do, some don't. As a rule, most women close their eyes for a kiss and expect you to do the same. Closing your eyes will make you more romantic and since she will probably peek, it's a safer bet.

Hold Your Tongue - Women hate men that French kiss too deeply and there are a lot of women out there that don't like to French at all. Start with just pressing your lips together and wait to see if she darts her tongue in your mouth. If she does, then it's ok to reciprocate. Never force your tongue into the depths of her mouth (unless she's trying to do the same to you). The vast majority of women do not want you to lick their tonsils (even the ones that love to French kiss).

Use Your Hands - Don't keep them in your pockets! Hold her waist, stroke her hair, her cheek, cop a feel. As we said in the beginning, artistic license applies. The same approach will not be best in every situation, timing and location are key. Use some common sense. Hint: she doesn't want her ass grabbed in public, but in the bedroom during a warm kiss it might be nice.

Summary:

A Good Kisser Will:
  • Have Minty Breath
  • Moist Lips Very Slightly
  • Start Out Close
  • Breath Through His Nose
  • Tilt Head To One Side
  • Part Lips Slightly
  • Apply Pressure To Her Lips
  • Close Eyes
  • Dart Tongue, Shallow
A Bad Kisser Will:

  • Eat Garlic
  • Wet Lips Excessively
  • Pull Her Close (the difference here is whip lash)
  • Breath Through His Mouth
  • Butt Heads
  • Open Mouth As Wide As Possible
  • Suck, Make Smacking Noises
  • Munch On Her Lips
  • Keep Eyes Open And Fix A Stare
  • Force His Tongue Down Her Throat
So, what kind of kisser are you, dude?

How to Speak About Women and Be Politically Correct

1. She is not a Babe or a Chick - She is a Breasted American.

2. She is not a Screamer or Moaner - She is Vocally Appreciative.

3. She is not Easy - She is Horizontally Accessible.

4. She does not Tease or Flirt - She engages in Artificial Stimulation.

5. She is not Dumb - She is a Detour Off The Information Superhighway.

6. She has not Been Around - She is a Previously Enjoyed Companion.

7. She does not Get You Excited - She causes Temporary Blood Displacement.

8. She is not Kinky - She is a Creative Caretaker.

9. She does not have a Killer Body - She is Terminally Attactive.

10. She is not an Airhead - She is Reality Impaired.

11. She does not get Drunk or Tipsy - She gets Chemically Inconvenienced.

12. She is not Horny - She is Sexually Focused.

13. She does not have Breast Implants - She is Medically Enhanced.

14. She does not Nag You - She becomes Verbally Repetitive.

15. She is not a Slut - She is Sexually Extroverted.

16. She does not have Major League Hooters - She is Pectorally Superior.

17. She is not a Two Bit Whore - She is a Low Cost Provider.

Moods of a Woman

An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
A woman is a bundle of contradiction,
She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
But will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house.
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,
She'll win you in range, enchant you in silk,
She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk;
At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,
She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.

~~~~~~~~~~

Moods of a Man

Horny.

Change the Atmosphere Of Your Bedroom

When you do find a woman that is very sexually aggressive, use some of the strategies that women have used on aggressive men for centuries to heighten their sexual arousal. Think of all the things that some of your old girlfriends used to do that made you crazy and try them on your new lover. The old standbys are always good, some of them are hard to explain, but most people know what we mean.

Here's a list:

  • Be mysterious- only answer questions with indirect answers.
  • Play hard to get- but not too hard.
  • Use any excuse to touch her, without asking.
  • Stare at her when she's not looking, when she looks, look away. (Not the creepy stare but the flirty stare)
  • Make her beg for it, then when she's in bed, start begging her to do things for you.
  • Always be ready for sex, and always look your best.
If you've tried all the above advice and she's still not satisfied, don't worry about it. Some women are impossible to tame, especially the ones that have gone online to find some willing boy toys ;-) Just remember to have fun and to give her all you've got.

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